there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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