omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
