Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
