A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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