he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
