STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
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Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
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I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
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