i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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