Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
