so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he was CRYING into my vagina
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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