I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I wish i was in the wii world.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
In other news, I just burned my penis
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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