I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
