dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
