sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
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I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
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Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.