I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
