I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
