I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
