So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
