'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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