in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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