im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
