it hurts more in the daytime
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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