You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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