Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
