Porn is love you can see.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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