Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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