That's intense
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
