we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
