i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
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Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
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and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
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