So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
