everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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