Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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