It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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