my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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