I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
