I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
