i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
