the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
