but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
