Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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