To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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