Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
