maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
