I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I DEMAND FORESKIN
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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