I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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