Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
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