I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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