did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
