i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
