The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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