That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Dignity is for republicans.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
