You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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