In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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