Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
