We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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