I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
