I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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