I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
