So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
