Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
